Simply Growing Through Conflict!
- “Love People Use Things” by The Minimalists
No matter what, We will experience some kind of conflict today. Whether it is at home, at work, or when We are out and about conflict will happen and usually pretty unexpectedly.
When We are in conflict with others We must change Our ingrained negative habitual thinking and grow as individuals, otherwise the conflict will persist indefinitely.
When this happens We will take several deep breath‘s before reacting asking ourselves why We truly feel upset.
Then when We pinpoint the true reason that We can ask ourselves how, when, and where is the best time to broach the difficult subject.
Then when We have the dreaded confrontation We will only discuss one issue at a time with the intention of coming up to some kind of resolution or at least a compromise.
We will not use degrading language or say things for the specific purpose Of hurting the other person. This is never a good way to solve the problem, it’s a waste of time.
We will express our feelings with words, and state the words clearly, unapologetically, and confidently, truly owning and taking responsibility for them.
We will be thoughtful and careful with Our words, making sure to take into account who We are talking to.
We will take turns talking and truly listening to each other’s perspective trying to understand each other.
We will not Stonewall if the conversation isn’t going the way We want it to.
We will not yell, the One that yells the loudest isn’t the one that wins.
We will take a time out if things become too heated and emotional.
We will come to either a compromise or at least an understanding, agreed to disagree.
Assertive communication is a style of expressing ourselves in which We stand up for our own needs and wants, while also taking into account the needs and wants of others without behaving passively or aggressively.
A couple things We can work on are clearly stating Our needs and wants, keeping good eye contact, listening without interrupting, appropriate speaking volume, steady tone of voice, and confident but not aggressive body language.
When We express Ourselves We will respect Our own thoughts and feelings, and respect Others and their thoughts and feelings. We will speak calmly but clearly.
We will take some deep slow breath and plan what We are going to say trying to leave out contentious language.
Lastly, if We do not want to do something We will say “no” calmly, clearly, and succinctly, We will give the true reason and try to come up with a different solution.
I’m an introvert so communication is difficult for me, especially with my loved ones, but whenever I slip into bad communication habits I try to learn from it and do better next time. It doesn’t help anyone beating ourselves up about stuff.
We are trying to move away from drama, chaos, stress, worry, anxiety and move towards peace, calmness, simplicity, contentment, compassion, and love!
We are all so much more powerful than We believe and if we begin to tap into that power we can make a dramatic difference in our lives and the lives of others!
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