Simply Making Good Friends
“By removing the physical distractions around us, we’re able to look inside ourselves and begin the process of mental, emotional, psychological, and spiritual decluttering.”
- “Love People Use Things” by The Minimalists
Close friends are like family we get to choose!
Friends should have a positive influence on our lives. Friends should also share our Core Values.
That doesn’t mean that they should be the same as us. Truthfully it’s good to have friends that are very different than us. Sameness of purpose is not sameness of persons. As long as another is a good person that is trying to better themselves they will make good friends.
We can usually tell after hanging out with a person for a short period if they have a positive or negative influence on us. If we continually notice that something doesn’t feel right when we hang out with a friend then there is usually something that isn’t right. This “something” should be discussed and if the other person gets offended or mad and isn’t willing to listen or talk about what’s bothering us there is something wrong with the friendship.
When it comes to friendships, and all relationships really, having healthy boundaries is extremely important. No one has the right to tell us what we can and cannot do, think, or feel. No one has the right to belittle us or abuse us physically, mentally, or emotionally. Good friends will always respect our boundaries.
Sometimes we have family or friends that don’t respect our boundaries and they don’t want to communicate about changing the dynamics of the relationship. We feel exhausted, sad, or even used after every interaction with them. They get angry, manipulative, or mean when We say “No” to any of their requests. These people are Toxic, and sometimes We have to distance ourselves from them, especially if they refuse to respect our boundaries. This can be difficult and sad to do, but we have the right to say “No.” We don’t even need to give a reason. If a person is capable of doing a thing they should not expect us to do that thing for them, and they should definitely not get angry when we say “No.” We have to accept that we’ll never be good enough for these Toxic People. It will always be, “well, what have you done for me lately?” And they will never reciprocate. The exchange will always be one sided with them getting the better deal.
Some people are critical of everyone, not just us, so we should try to not take it too personally. They are so unhappy in their own life that their only pleasure is in dragging other people down. Whether that is going to be our problem or theirs is up to us.
We have to remember that our special life is for us, and our purpose has nothing to do with the opinions of others. We must realize that we’ll never please everyone, and that whoever hurts us just happens to be one of those people. Once we understand and accept this, it will be easier to let go of the Toxic People and move on.
We All deserve to be happy and healthy!
Outside of our nuclear families we have much more control over who we associate with, so it’s extremely important to be very intentional and to choose our friends wisely.
We all deserve to have honest, positive, kind, and understanding people in our lives!
As we get better at being Mindful and Intentional with our friends we will naturally begin to let the negative people go and bring the positive people closer!
Comments
Post a Comment